Why am I so easy to reject and abandon?

Why am I so easy to reject and abandon? I've wondered this my whole life,I always feel I'm not worth the fight. So I have to be good to myself and make myself feel good. I know that God cares. If I didn't know that I probably would go insane. Some days are harder than others to keep focused that God is always there. Some days I just feel very alone in the world.